


Dark Paradise

by Isabite



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Kerberos Mission, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 12:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11463804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabite/pseuds/Isabite
Summary: I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side.It doesn’t settle in until a week later after the memorial. Shiro is gone. Dead. Pilot Error. For a while he believes it. Classes continue like nothing ever happened. Like three people didn’t just go missing out in the middle of space.The aftermath of the failed Kerberos mission.





	Dark Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story with this fandom so bare with me. I'm super excited for season 3! Not much longer to go! Anyways I know there is a lot of Post Kerberos aftermath fics out there but this is my take inspired by Lana Del Rey's song Dark Paradise. Hope you enjoy it.

It doesn’t settle in until a week later after the memorial. Shiro is gone. Dead. Pilot Error. For a while he believes it. Classes continue like nothing ever happened. Like three people didn’t just go missing ~~dead~~ out in the middle of space. Everyone around him kept staring at him, almost like they were waiting. It’s not until he sees a group of officials gathering Shiro’s things out of his room and suddenly he can’t breathe. The collar of his uniform felt like it was strangling him. **_I can’t breathe_.** One hand was one the while the rest of his body was hunched over. His other hand was clawing at his shirt, trying to get it loose because he can’t _breathe_. There was a faint buzzing around him and blurry figures. Someone was grabbing him by his forearm. " ** _Let me go!"_** His fist collided with something and a faint snap was heard. Then the world went dark.

                                                

When he woke up he was in the infirmary. He felt sick to his stomach. Trying not to throw up all over the floor he got up and swept out of the room before a nurse came back to check on him. His steps echoed as he walked through the empty dark hallways. He had managed to hold back his nausea until he sneaked out the garrison. The sound of heaving was mixed with the sound of muffle sobs. The only comfort he received was the sound of whistling winds and glowing stars. It was dawn by the time he made it back to his room.

 

He didn’t go to class. They let it slip for a while before he got in trouble. “It’s time to move on, Cadet. You have a promising future, don’t throw it away.” He tried. Really, he did. But the more he thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense. Shiro was the best pilot at the Garrison. There was no way he could make such a mistake. Trying to get answers from higher ups made him realize that they were hiding something. It was a cover up.

 

He was going to break into Iverson’s office but had to hide around the corner as soon as he saw him approaching. Someone else had beat him to the punch. The surprise in Iverson’s voice grabbed his attention as he strained to hear what was going on. “You said the space craft went down due to pilot error. I saw the video feeds from your probes! There’s no evidence of a crash anywhere on Kerberos!” Time froze. The garrison had lied, but why? Were they---? “You can’t keep me out!” The shout from the girl pulled him away from his shock. “I’ll find the truth! I’ll never stop!”

 

It had been a month after that incident. His grades were slipping, and he’s already been caught twice getting into classified files about the Kerberos mission. Everything truly fell apart when they came up with the Kerberos rescue mission simulator. He refused to fly it. Never said a word, never set foot. A few days later when he had gone back to his dorm there were two officers waiting for him. He was dismissed from Galaxy Garrison. With nothing but a bag full of clothes, their hover bike, and his knife he felt himself start to panic again. **_What now? I don’t have anywhere to go. How am I supposed to find out the truth about Kerberos now? Where am I supposed to go?_** Flying always cleared his head, so that’s what he did. He flew through the canyons and around cliffs until the sky begun to turn violet.  When he finally stopped, he was faced with a shack. Always cautious he pulled his knife out of his sheath and stepped onto the porch. The windows were covered with dusty sand and the paint on the wood was peeling away. The door was unlocked and it was clear just by looking inside that no one had been home for a long time. The couch in the small living room was covered with plastic. So was the small bed in the only bedroom of the house. The closet had some boxes filled with clothes too big for him and some valuable items he could probably pawn off for some decent cash. Everything was covered with dust and the air was stale. He had managed to clean up and let some fresh air in before the day took its toll on him and he passed out on the bare mattress.

 

The days went by as he survived. Surviving because this wasn’t living. He lost track of time and couldn’t tell if it had been days, months or weeks that went by. For however long it was he didn’t speak a word, not even when he had to go into town to trade and get supplies. When the sun would go down he would drive to the edge of the canyon and stare out at the stars that were calling out to him. The desert was freezing at night but he didn’t care. Sometimes when he fell asleep he saw him in his dreams. Shiro would be looking down at him with a soft smile, half lecturing him and half teasing him for falling asleep in the middle of nowhere. He slept a lot just to pretend that everything was fine. That the Kerberos mission never happened and Shiro was still by his side. He swears he can feel his fingers running through his overgrown hair. He can feel the fall and rise of his chest as they nap on their day off. Weeks went by and he begun to talk to the Shiro in his dreams.

 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His voice was rough after so many weeks of disuse. Shiro stared back at him with a confused expression on his face. “I’ve lost everything, there’s nothing left. I lost my parents. I’ve lost my future at the Garrison. I’ve lost you…” His voice trailed off as Dream Shiro placed a comforting hand at the base of his neck. It felt so real.

 

“Keith, you haven’t lost me. I’m right here with you. I always will be. You’ll be fine.” His chest felt tight with pain at the sentence. It hurt like nothing else ever has. It felt like Shiro was a ghost, telling him even in death he would be with him. He tried to grasp Shiro’s other hand but the illusion faded away and he was left clinging to the sheets next to him. For the first time, he cried.

 

Dear Shiro,

 

I don’t know how long it’s been since the disappearance was announced, the days started to blur together ever since. I remember the day you were chosen to pilot the Kerberos mission. You were shocked that you were chosen and I was shocked that you were shocked. I’ll admit that a selfish part of me wanted to tell you to stay, but when I saw how happy you were I knew I could never ask for such a thing. Now you’re gone and I can’t but feel that maybe if I had been selfish you would still be here.

 

I got kicked out of the garrison. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. What really did it was their new simulation. Instead of sending out an actual rescue team they used you and the Holts as a lesson for cadets. I know you would disappointed with me but I just couldn’t stand the idea of flying a simulator when that was all it was ever going to be.

 

The thing I regret the most was not saying out loud how much I care for you, how much I love you. I know we had this unspoken thing between us but I wish I was brave enough to say it to you. No matter what I won’t stop loving you. It will never be past tense. I’m scared that you won’t be waiting for me on the other side. Maybe it’ll be a good thing If you’re not. I’ll finally be able to tell if you’re really still out there, alive.

 

I’m sorry for not being strong enough.

 

             -Keith

 

The letter sat in front of him untouched for several minutes. The knife he always carried was out of its normal resting place in the sheath at the small of his back. It sat in his two hands as he stared down at it. His thumb was softly stroking at the hilt as he sat and thought. **_What if he’s still alive? How would I even find him if he is alive?_** He almost went through with it until he felt something pulling him outside. The feeling was so overwhelming that he folded up the letter and stuck it in the sheath along with the knife.

 

It was incredible. The feeling lead him to a cave full of carvings about a blue lion. He sat there for hours looking at every story about the blue lion. He recreated a few of the carvings by sketch but he wasn’t really an artist. The next day he went back into town and bought a camera and some equipment. This was his purpose now. Something out there was asking to be found. There was major activity coming from the same area as the cave and it was his job to figure out what it was.

 

He became obsessed. Every day he went to the cave and studied the markings along the walls. Each one told a different story, but the one he was currently studying was the one that caught his attention the most. It was saying something about an arrival.  Something was coming to earth, and that feeling was telling him it wouldn’t be long until he found out what was coming. _Be prepared_. He would get his answers. Everything would make sense soon.

 

Everything was set. He had everything he needed for whatever was coming tonight. No doubt with the Garrison being so close by that they’ll be trying to get their hands on whatever would land first. All he had to do was wait…which has never been his strong suit. _Patience._ A few hours after the sunset is when he saw it falling from the sky. _**Finally**_. The explosives went off. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have other chapter/installment already kind of in mind so if you want more just let me know. I hope you enjoyed it!


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